


Excuse me Princess

by troublesomedragon



Category: Satan and Me (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Five years into the future, Girls Night Out, In which there is much drinking, Memory arc aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 11:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16932735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troublesomedragon/pseuds/troublesomedragon
Summary: After all these years, Natalie finds herself confronting the horrible truth that she may have been the selfish one all along when she crosses a line she's never dared cross before. They say, if you love someone, let them go, but she's sure whoever invented that particular phrase never lived with a literal angel.





	Excuse me Princess

Excuse Me Princess

Natalie hesitated outside her door, hand wavering above the knocker. Lucifer would be there, waiting faithfully for her like a damn dog. She bit her lip. He never said anything when she came home late from work, but somehow even in silence, he always managed to radiate disappointment. In one quick motion, she lightly tapped her knuckles against the door, just to let him know she was there. Before she even had a chance to fish the keys out of her purse, Lucifer let her in. 

Embarrassed, she walked past him, pushing loose strands of hair away from her face. It hadn't been her intention to bother him, only to spare him the pain of her interrupting yet another private moment of seemingly endless mourning. They'd survived the apocalypse, and by some miracle, the casualties on both sides had been minimal. So, why wasn't that enough?  Why was he still pining for a version of her that was never coming back? She sighed, grabbing the meal he'd made for her from the fridge, an annoyingly healthy sandwich with a side of fruit for dessert. If she wasn't so hungry, she would have ordered a pizza out of spite. 

Frowning, she sat on an elegant black stool in the kitchen and fixed herself a drink. Already, she could tell he was quietly fuming as his mouth formed a thin hard line, eye twitching every other second, clearly frustrated she'd managed to sneak alcohol into the house without his knowledge yet again. Yeah, it's not like she was friends with an army of angels or anything.   

Leaning against the granite counter top, she swirled the drink in her hand, pondering her life choices. Ironically, she didn't remember the most pivotal ones, leading to this mess of a roommate situation. Five years now and the devil hadn't gotten bored of playing babysitter. She'd stopped asking him to leave a long time ago. 

At first, Natalie had convinced herself that she didn't have a choice in the matter. So, why keep asking? Maybe, she didn't when they'd first met. He'd been so desperate. So sure, she would remember him if he just kept trying every mystical solution he could get his hands on, but they never worked. Inevitably, he stopped trying altogether. 

Once he'd let go of his false hope, the dynamic had undeniably shifted back in her favor. When the devil only had eyes for you, you could have anything you wanted. She had to admit living with Satan had its perks, unless you wanted to get a hold of some damn fast food. He seemed to be under the unrealistic impression he could keep her alive indefinitely if he kept shoving kale sandwiches onto her plate. She took a bite of her sandwich, a content moan escaping her lips. It actually tasted good for a change. He actually cracked a smile although his eyes were still fixed on the latest mystery novel she'd picked up for him. It was such a rare sight that her heartbeat spiked involuntarily. She blushed, aware of how attuned he was to her every vital sign. 

Having suffered similar crises where she didn't quite hate him anymore, she wisely obscured her face and finished her sandwich in relative peace. Natalie picked at her fruit, suddenly self conscious as she went from the observer to the observed. He was frustratingly devoted to her, no matter how she treated him, slowly killing her with kindness. 

How could she refuse him her company when he acted like a literal angel? He anticipated her every need before she ever had the chance to want for anything. Lucifer cleaned the house, ran errands, and made her food in the morning and evenings. She'd tried to protest, weary of feeling too indebted to a literal demon, but he'd insisted rather passionately that she'd poison herself if he didn't. Natalie knew herself well enough to know that he had a point.   

Not to mention the fact that Lucifer wasn't exactly mooching off her anymore, quite the opposite, he'd been mysteriously providing her with rent money since she'd moved to New York, practically allowing her to live in a damn palace. Natalie owed everything she had to him. Part of her wasn't sure she could go back to her old life if she ever chose to send him away. She liked her gilded cage far too much to ever leave it entirely. 

How could she possibly begin to protest his constant presence when he went out of his way to blend into the background? He rarely spoke to her unless she initiated the conversation. Even then, he was always guarded as if waiting to be punished for some minor indiscretion. During these brief painful conversations, she always felt something akin to self loathing as she realized that he was only with her now out of some misguided loyalty to her past self, the selfless one who had given him everything. No wonder he'd been so bitterly disappointed when he'd gotten stuck with her. 

“Thank you for the meal,” Natalie said in a hushed whisper. She never thanked him enough for everything he did for her. 

“Good Night,” Lucifer said, not bothering to look up from his book. He hadn't registered her words, simply assuming she was turning in for the night. 

Natalie pouted, put off by his lack of attention. That wasn't like him at all. She tossed her trash in the bin and walked over to him, yanking the book from his hand. He looked up, slightly amused. 

“What? Do you want a bed time story?” Lucifer asked. 

Face flushed, she shook her head furiously, unsure what had changed. Lucifer had the gall to laugh at her, no longer treating her like a fragile precious thing. Fine, if they were making changes, she'd make damn sure that he stopped chasing ghosts and started paying attention to what was right in front of him. Natalie sat on his lap, deliberately pressing her body against his, pleased when the utterly touch starved devil flinched, caught off guard by her forwardness. Playing him like a fiddle, she tilted his head forward, forcing him to look her in the eye.   

“I said thank you for the meal, Lucifer. I'm sorry I came back so late. We're short staffed at the flower shop, and we had a big wedding order to fill,” Natalie explained, reaching up to stroke his hair on a whim, delighted as he melted under her touch.   

“I figured,” he muttered, gradually losing all resistance to her gentle caresses. 

Drunk on power, she softly pressed her lips to his forehead. His breath hitched, and she giggled as she pulled away. Curious how far she could push the devil before he stopped her, she moved her lips along his jaw all the way down his neck, leaving a steady trail of butterfly kisses. He growled involuntarily, making her laugh as she felt the vibrations coming from his throat. Encouraged, Natalie pulled the black turtle neck off him as he held her steady. Pressing her hands against his chest, she leaned down, ready to tease his mouth open, only for Lucifer to eagerly reciprocate, deepening the kiss without any prompting. Natalie let out a strangled cry and pulled back, finally realizing he wouldn't stop. Lucifer still loved her, even with her incomplete soul. She suddenly felt sick and took off running, leaving behind a troubled Lucifer who'd probably torture himself by dwelling on the nights events until morning. 

Lucifer was not in her apartment the next day although he'd been kind enough to make her breakfast before he left. Natalie pushed the scrambled eggs along her plate, not particularly hungry. Maybe, he wouldn't come back. For once, the thought wasn't a happy one. She hadn't meant to lead him on like that. But what did she expect? That he had stayed with her out of the goodness of his heart? That there were no lingering feelings? She'd been such an idiot, all because he'd ignored her for all of two seconds. Aware he'd throw a fit if she didn't eat anything, Natalie shoved the scrambled eggs into her mouth and went to work. 

Even though Natalie was unbelievably busy filling orders and taking calls, she couldn't help but sneak away and check her phone every other hour for some small sign that he hadn't taken off for good: a missed call, a voice mail, a brief text message, anything at all. She jumped when she finally received a notification, eagerly pulling out her phone from her apron. Natalie glanced at the message and frowned.

Oh, he hadn't contacted her after all. Laila just wanted to make sure she was coming tonight. Natalie bit her lip, not really in the mood for a big evening out. On the other hand, this was just the excuse she needed to avoid Lucifer for a few more hours. She texted Laila her reply and dashed to the front of the flower shop to deal with the sudden influx of customers. The devil could wait. 

Please don't let him see me. Please don't let him see me. Natalie begged Lucifer's almighty Father as she silently tip toed her way into the apartment to change. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized Lucifer still hadn't come back yet. He would come back right? He had to. Who would disappear without a trace after living with someone for five years? The devil would, Natalie, you stupid trusting idiot. She shook her head, willing the negative thoughts to disappear like her damned angel. 

Natalie would apologize when he came back and smooth things over by offering him some expensive sweets from the nearby candy shop. Then, they could forget the whole incident ever happened . . . if he came back at all. She found herself cursing under her breath and slamming the door shut on her way out of the apartment. He better not leave her again. She froze outside the door. Again? She shook her head to clear her mind of half remembered things and took a cab to the bar. 

Chelle, Laila and Kristi all gave each other looks as Natalie attempted to drown her sorrows with alcohol. Something had definitely happened with Satan. After about three drinks, she started rambling, slowly revealing the heart of the matter. Why was she a freaking demon magnet? Was it her legs? Pax was always going on about her damn legs. Or was it some sort of magical child of prophecy pheromones that had all them flocking to her in droves? Could she see a doctor about that? Why did Satan even like her? She barely tolerated him, and she wasn't the selfless heroine he'd fallen for. So how? How had this become her life? 

Chelle spoke up first, by  far the most experienced in dealing with her friend's sudden mood swings. Placing a hand on her shoulder, she leaned down and grinned.

“Okay girl, what happened?” she asked. Natalie scowled at her, taking another swig of her drink.

“What do you think happened? I made a stupid impulsive decision that's probably going to wreck the rest of my life, like always,” she said bitterly. Chelle stopped her from taking another drink.

“Hey Nat, I'm going to need some details. You're not looking so good. We're not going to let whatever is going on eat you up inside, so spill,” Chelle said. Natalie let out a deep dramatic sigh.

“Ugh, Fine but Kristi, I need you not to say anything until I finish,” Natalie said, holding up an accusing finger. Kristi pursed her lips, scanning her for any signs of physical abuse, imagining a far different devil than the one she actually lived with. 

“Did he hurt you?” Kristi asked. Natalie shook her head, waving her arms frantically in protest.

“No, of course not. Are you crazy? He literally has his goons follow me home when I stay out too late,” Natalie said, biting her lip as she realized how that sounded.

“Oh, when did Lucifer start a crime syndicate?” Laila asked playfully. Well aware, Lucifer was not the monster he pretended to be.  
   
“He's not forcing you stay with him again is he?” Kristi asked. She wasn't sure why that hit a nerve. 

“No he's different now, and I get why he-” Natalie said, stopping suddenly as she realized she was about to defend her kidnapper. She chugged the rest of her drink and ordered another. 

“Never mind, we're getting off topic. Kristi, you don't get anymore questions until I tell my story,” Natalie said, ignoring Kristi's if and buts. She shushed her, and Kristi finally shut up.

“I may have accidentally seduced him,” Natalie said, taking a sip of her drink to hide her blush. 

“Oh my God, you two finally got together. Yes, I win the bet. Pay up ladies,” Chelle said, letting out an elated woo. Kristi and Laila begrudgingly slapped pair of twenties into her hand. 

“Hold on, no no no,” Natalie said, totally freaking out. That was not what happened. It was all just a dumb misunderstanding, a cruel game she shouldn't have played. Surely, he wouldn't think she was serious. 

Right? 

“Natalie-” Laila interrupted her, but she wasn't quite done expressing her abject horror at the idea.   

“No, no, no, I was just mad, and- ” Natalie said, hesitating, unsure how to justify her actions. 

“What exactly happened?” she finished, twirling a complimentary paper umbrella between her fingers. 

Natalie downed the rest of her drink, impossibly nervous. She started giggling uncontrollably, face flushed as her friends hovered around her like vultures waiting for scraps. 

“I sat on his lap-” Natalie admitted, absently fiddling with her hair in an effort to ignore her friends unsettling stares.

“Oh, this is going to be good I can already tell,” Chelle said, rubbing her hands together like a damn super villain.   

“Shush or she'll lose her nerve,” Laila whispered, placing her finger on her freaking beautiful black lips for emphasis. 

Why were all her friends so hot? Focus, Natalie. You need to figure out how to deal with the devil before you get home today.   

“And then, I smooched his forehead,” Natalie said in a way that didn't properly reflect the intimacy of the moment. Chelle choked back a snort, a look of pity on her face when she pulled herself together, dangerously close to hugging her tight and exclaiming, Oh Honey. 

“That's it? Pssht, he probably thought you were drunk,” Chelle said, waving her hand dismissively. 

“Yeah, maybe, I could have gotten away with it if I'd stopped there, but I didn't. I made my way down his neck, and he freaking growled like he was flippin' Cerberus, ” Natalie said without skipping a beat. 

Chelle let out an excited squeal. Laila smiled secretively, likely texting Felix under the table. Laila so loved riling up her demon, and he had likely just lost a significant amount of money if Laila's soft laughter was anything to go by. Kristi, on the other hand, was horrified. Natalie sighed. Here we go. 

“Oh Natalie, you didn't. Remember what he was like when you were just a little nice to him? You're going to have to move out,”  Kristi said, dead serious. 

Hah, and here, Natalie was struggling with the idea that her constant companion of over five year was gone for good. Kristi was ready to dump her in holy water and set fire to her apartment to rid it of evil spirits. God, she wished she still feared him that much. He was probably sulking at the damn library or something. 

“Hey little miss Sunshine, I'm not finished so shush,” Natalie said, pressing her finger to her friends lips. Kristi scowled, glaring at the offending finger. 

“You know I don't like that nickname,” Kristi mumbled, removing her hand from her person. 

“You didn't seem to mind the nickname when Angel Dust gave it to you,” Natalie said. 

Kristi turned a deathly shade of white. Chelle spit out her drink, howling with laughter. Laila frowned, tapping her glass as if contemplating whether to say something or not before taking a drink. 

“Nat, Don't call Michael that. It's a drug,” Laila said finally. 

Natalie rolled her eyes. Oh, was that it? No wonder the angels had been giggling like little school children when she passed out the Michaelmas cards last year. At least, Michael hadn't caught on. She'd never hear the end of it. 

“Sure, whatever, I won't. Back to Satan,” Natalie said, desperate to get some kind of advice from her friends on this one. She'd been seconds away from making a huge mistake after so many years of establishing clear boundaries. 

What would she even come home to? An empty room? A shower of roses?  A bottomless pit of chocolates? Or her faithful devil sitting in his chair reading a book as if nothing happened? Natalie wasn't sure what nightmare she'd prefer, the one where he thoroughly opened himself up to her or the one where he shut her out forever more.    
   
“Why is everything always Satan with you?” Kristi snapped, slamming her glass on the table, splashing the contents everywhere. 

“Because some of us want more out of life than Mike's hard lemonade, Kristi,” Natalie snapped back, wiping the sticky citrus drink from her arm. What a waste of alcohol, she'd hardly touched it.   

“You're unbelievable,” Kristi said, triggering a flicker of a memory. 

“Of course I am, I'm literally the chosen one. Even your guardian angel likes me better than you, and from what I understand, I was really horrible to him for no real reason, his words,” Natalie said, raising a finger before she was corrected. 

That didn't stop Laila. She shook her head, taking another sip of her drink before gently filling her in. 

“Don't let him gaslight you like that. You didn't like that he was two faced, Natalie. He got better,” Laila explained. 

“Oh thanks, Laila, what were we talking about?” Natalie asked, drawing a blank. Memory jumbled from the alcohol and the sudden feeling of dejavu. 

“You were about to make Kristi cry. I'd change the subject,” Chelle whispered, attempting to subtly steer the conversation away from their teary eyed friend.

“Frick, Kristi, I'm sorry. I get super defensive about that for some reason, and I'm really drunk,” Natalie said. She never tried to puzzle out the memories anymore. It was easier to ignore them. 

“It's fine. I know he doesn't like me very much. He thinks I'm an annoying wimp,” Kristi muttered. 

“No, Krissi, no, Michael was just mad he got stuck with you. I'm sure he didn't mean to call you an annoying wimp, ” Natalie blurted out, not realizing how awful that sounded until the words slipped out. Shoot, she'd been drinking way too much. 

“You're not helping, Nat. Why don't you go ahead and finish your story about you and Luce,” Chelle suggested, giving her a reassuring wink. Laila was too busy comforting Kristi to comment, hand lingering on her shoulder. Hmm . . .  They did look good together. 

“Right, the whole Satan thing, ugh, I messed up so bad,” Natalie said, forcing herself to push her drink aside. There might not be anyone to hold her hair up in the morning.  
“Damn girl, what'd you do?” Chelle asked. 

“I was having a lot of fun toying with him. So I have the brilliant idea of taking it a step further just to see how far he'll let me go. And . . . ” Natalie trailed off. 

“And?” Chelle asked, leaning forward in anticipation. She loved some good gossip. 

“I took his shirt off and started teasing his mouth open, but I figured out super quick he wasn't going to stop when he stuck his tongue down my throat,” Natalie said. 

“Shut up, you really did that?” Chelle asked in disbelief. 

Natalie was known for being notoriously chaste, no matter how nice or how well she hit it off with her current partner. She was always weirdly paranoid it was an act, and the relationship tended to fizzle out within a few weeks. Surprisingly, outside her friends and family, she only really felt safe with the devil. So, of course, Natalie had to find a way to ruin that too. Maybe, she would have to move out. 

“Don't just stop. What happened after that? Or is that too personal?” Chelle asked, checking herself as she assumed the worst.  

“No, it didn't go any farther. I ran away like a coward, and he wasn't there in the morning. Is that bad?” Natalie asked, hoping beyond hope she was overacting. 

“Huh, I think you might have finally scared him off,” Laila cut in. 

Natalie winced. That bad, huh? 

“Shoot, should I put up posters?” Natalie asked. He was large, loud and all too eager to cause trouble when she wasn't around. Someone must have spotted him at some point. 

“He's not a cat, Nat,” Kristi said, annoyed. She always hated that she didn't take the devil hanging around her all that seriously. How could she . . . he was like one big marshmallow. 

“I mean he's kind of like my cat. It couldn't hurt,” Natalie mumbled. It wasn't that weird. People put up missing person posters all the time. This was no different. 

“Wait, you're serious?” Chelle said, equally disbelieving. 

Natalie didn't understand what the big deal was. Why wouldn't she look for her devil?

“Or like a servant I guess, I don't feed him. He feeds me,” Natalie said, finger on her chin. 

“Hmm, I think we might have found the underlying problem,” Laila said, daring to side eye her. 

“What are you talking about? The problem is I gave him false hope and made him uncomfortable. How do I let him down easy?” Natalie asked, sensing where the conversation was going. She didn't like it one bit. 

“I hate to say this, because you know, he's Satan, but I think you might be taking advantage of him,” Kristi said. Natalie's jaw dropped. Kristi was taking Lucifer's side. Seriously? 

Misses The Devil is Bad and you should kick him out was telling her that she was in the wrong. Was this actually happening or had she passed out and entered some bizarro world were Kristi was capable of having nuanced opinions ? She needed another drink.

“Okay, is everyone forgetting he kidnapped me? Cleaning my apartment and cooking for me is the least Lucifer could do for all the pain and suffering he put me through,” Natalie said. 

God, she sounded like an entitled brat. No, she wasn't crazy. Lucifer wanted to be with her. Natalie never demanded that he wait on her hand and foot. He'd chosen to wholly devote himself to her of his own freewill. Could they really blame her for accepting such a tempting offer?

“Nat, it's been five years. You have to let him off the hook,” Chelle said, suffering from a strong case of sympathy for the devil. Blah. Natalie couldn't believe that she'd ever been that person. 

“Why? He doesn't want off the hook. Trust me, I've tried,” Natalie insisted. 

“When's the last time you asked?” Laila cut in, seeing right through her. 

“Like three years ago, but I'm sure he wouldn't-” Natalie started to say when Chelle interrupted her. 

“Oh, I gotcha girl. You don't want him to go because he treats you like a freaking princess.” 

Natalie started to laugh uncontrollably, unable to deny the accusation. She hated how perceptive her friends were. She hadn't expected them to call her out on her bad behavior or she would have stayed home. 

“Yeah right, he's just babysitting me because I gave up part of my soul when I was less sane. He's afraid I'll get stabbed in an alleyway or something,” Natalie said, partly as a form of damage control and partly to convince herself this was true. He did call her kid all the time, but her mind flashed back to their shirtless make out session and she nearly dropped her drink. 

“Well . . . As a millenia old entity, that explanation would make the most sense,” Laila said slowly.

“But?” Natalie asked, letting out a resigned sigh.  

“Didn't he give up his fancy wings, the symbol of his father's eternal love, for you? ” Laila pointed out, likely having wrung out this piece of knowledge from Felix at some point. 

Freaking Felix, she'd make sure Lucifer had him demoted. 

“Yeah, but like, hypothetically, wouldn't you all give up something you really cared about to save me from dying?” Natalie asked, knowing exactly what Laila was trying to imply. 

There was more than one kind of love, and she'd been assured time and time again that he was her best friend. Of course, he'd given up everything for her because the Natalie he knew would have done the same thing. Too bad, she wasn't that person anymore. Instead, here she was, selfishly justifying keeping her absolute power over another soul because it benefited her in the long run to keep him around, she hated herself. 

“Of course,” Laila said. 

“Totally,” Chelle said. 

“Hell no,” Kristi said. 

“That's cold, Kris,” Chelle said, shooting Kristi a disapproving look. 

Natalie laughed, giving in and downing another drink. She wasn't feeling guilty or anything. Natalie would have been insulted if he hadn't tried to save her. At least, that's what she needed to believe to let her sleep tonight.

“Relax, I almost got her killed like two or three times. She gets a free pass,” Natalie said, waving her hand dismissively. It was a miracle they'd actually become friends after the apocalypse. She wasn't expecting much more than that. 

“Wow, you guys had all sorts of fun without me. I'm jealous,” Chelle said, pursing her lips. 

Natalie smiled morbidly, remembering the pile of dead angel carcasses left at the end of the battle. Ironically, forever etched into her mind when almost everything else in that narrow stretch of time was a blur. The Fallen had been burned into Nothing by Michael's sword, denying the survivors the chance to mourn. Yeah, Chelle had a strange definition of fun.   

“You didn't miss out on much, except almost dying all the time,” Natalie said, or so, she had been told repeatedly. 

Naively, she'd assumed Satan had been exaggerating, only for Michael, Laila, and Kristi to confirm his story. There had been little discrepancy between accounts, forcing her to accept the stories at face value. Either, she'd gained some IQ points since then, or she'd truly had a death wish.   

“Fair, you ended up in the hospital so much our class started a donation campaign to help your father cover hospital bills,” Chelle said teasingly. Natalie grimaced, aware her father would still be paying hospital bills all these years later without the devil on her side to pay the difference. 

“God, sometimes, I hate past me,” Natalie said, shaking her head. She'd been so freaking oblivious to everything outside her little supernatural bubble. 

“Don't beat yourself up too much. You were a teenager. It's miracle you're still with us, considering everything you went through,” Chelle said, gently placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

“And all I had to do was clip an angel's wings,” Natalie said, a sigh escaping her lips. 

Yeah, she wasn't sleeping tonight. She ordered another drink. Natalie didn't want to remember today. 

“The way I see it. You have two options,” Chelle said. 

“Go ahead, because right now, I'm seriously considering crashing on your couch tonight,” Natalie said, wide eyed as she read the note the server had given her. It wasn't the phone number she'd been expecting. 

You've had enough tonight, Princess. 

Lucifer

Shit. She had to stop for chocolates on her way home.   

“And you're welcome to it, but I still think you have to let him go eventually, or . . .”

“What?” Natalie asked, distractedly looking for Lucifer in the crowd. How much had he heard? 

“You can tell him how you feel, ” Chelle said. 

“I don't feel anything. ” Natalie said automatically. 

“Then, why'd you jump him?” Chelle asked. The incident replayed itself in her mind, making her blush. 

“He ignored me and I got mad,” Natalie said sheepishly, reluctant to give the full explanation with Lucifer hovering somewhere in the background. 

“I wouldn't say that constituted a reasonable way to resolve that situation if you wanted to keep things platonic,” Laila said, a knowing smirk on her face. 

“He's Satan. What did you expect?” Kristi asked, genuinely baffled by Natalie's absurd expectations for the devil. 

“I don't know. He practically worships me. So, what if it bothers me when he tunes me out? I'm his whole goddamn world. He better pay attention when I show him gratitude,” Natalie muttered.

“Aha, I knew it. You have him wrapped around your finger. Babysitter my ass,” Chelle said as the low hanging bar lights highlighted her delighted face, practically making her shimmer. 

God, why were her friends so damn hot? 

“Shut up, I'm drunk. I don't have to make sense. ” Natalie whined, letting her head rest on the table, cheek smooshed against the wooden surface. She thought she caught sight of Lucifer's golden eyes near the bar, but she blinked, and he was gone. 

“I know you two have a complicated history, but it seems to me that the current arrangement is no longer beneficial to either of you. Something has to change, Natalie, or you'll ruin each other in the long run,” Laila said. 

Heh, she'd already ruined him. Why would she abandoned him now? 

“No, I can fix this.” Natalie said, sluggishly getting up. Kristi grabbed her hand. Here we go.   

“Natalie, Laila's right. This isn't healthy, not that it was ever that healthy in the first place,” Kristi said, about to start on a tangent. She wasn't in the mood to listen. 

“I don't want things to change,” Natalie said, wrenching her hand free. 

And if she didn't want things to change, they wouldn't. As long as Lucifer loved her, what they did would always be her choice. He might pretended otherwise, but she had all the power and always had. 

“If you don't make a decision, neither of you will be able to move forward, you've been stuck in a strange limbo for a long time,” Chelle said.

Fools, that was by design. When Lucifer was with her, he wasn't Satan, just her fallen guardian angel that loved her to bits. Sure, he loved her more than she could ever love him, but at least, this way no one got hurt, well . . . no one except him. 

“Forget you guys, I'm just going to buy him some candy, and this whole thing will blow over. You'll see. You'll all see,” Natalie said, stomping off.   

She nearly tripped on a loose floor board while she was making her dramatic exit but caught herself by grabbing hold of a nearby table. Stupid high heels. Stupid alcohol. Stupid Lucifer.

God, why was everything so stupid? 

“Think she'll change her mind when the alcohol wears off?” Kristi asked worriedly. 

“No” Natalie shouted from the other end of the bar, making a scene. 

“That's my girl,” Chelle shouted, proudly raising a glass to her. 

“Yup, she's doomed,” Laila added, raising her own glass in the air in solidarity. They clinked their glasses together, and Natalie stuck her tongue out at them defiantly and slammed the door shut behind her

Natalie easily hailed a cab. She didn't comment on the drivers slit pupils. What did she care what the Fallen chose to do with their free time? At least, she never had to worry about getting home safely. This particular driver insisted on waiting for her as she picked out Lucifer's favorite sweets.  As always, one of Lucifer's followers dropped her off at home without her ever having to tell the driver her address or give them any money. Natalie politely thanked the demon and made her way inside. 

“Hey Lucifer, I'm home,” Natalie said, a big fake smile plastered on her face. 

No response. Lucifer continued to sit in his favorite chair, reading his latest book as if she didn't exist. Sucking in a breath, she marched over to him and sat on his lap, determined to get his attention. He stiffened, understandably uncomfortable after yesterday's disaster. Natalie hastily dropped the chocolates on top of his open book.

“Please don't be mad,” Natalie begged, wrapping her arms around his neck. Lucifer relaxed involuntarily. The tension in his muscles evaporating altogether as he surrendered to her touch. 

“I'm not mad. Yesterday's little incident actually helped me make my decision,” Lucifer said, methodically stroking her hair, taking out bits of dirt and plant debris from the tangled strands. An oddly tender act he wouldn't have dared tried the day before yesterday.     

“About what? Because you haven't eaten your chocolates yet, and I'm sure they'll change your mind about whatever it is when you do,” Natalie said, releasing him to dig the chocolates out of the fancy bag covered in tissue paper. 

“You don't need me anymore,” Lucifer said, just as she was forcing the box open. 

“I never- but- chocolates,” Natalie said, shoving the box of chocolates right under his nose. He stifled a laugh, gladly accepting her present. 

“Thanks, but I've turned you into a spoiled princess, and that's the last thing I wanted,” Lucifer said, tossing a piece of chocolate into his mouth. 

Natalie slapped him, pouring years of frustration into the blow. She was still Natalie, dammit. 

“How dare you? I gave up part of my soul for you. I'm the reason your every waking moment isn't absolutely miserable. If I'm a spoiled princess, it's because I earned it,” Natalie hissed, mere inches from his face. Dumbfounded, he couldn't seem to find the will to fight back. In fact, Lucifer refused to even breathe. Any other day, she would have laughed at the fact that she'd literally left him breathless. Today, unfortunately, she was one wrong move away from losing him.

“You're right. I wasn't being fair. You've done a lot for me, but I think it's time we both move on,” Lucifer said, absently holding her hips to keep her from falling over as she loomed over him. Freaking angel. 

“Oh Hell no, I'm the one who decides what we do in this relationship,” Natalie said, firmly cupping his face in her hands. 

“So, what's the plan, princess?” Lucifer said, transfixed as she held him in place, entirely at her mercy. 

“You're not allowed to call me that,” Natalie said with a grimace. He must have overheard them when he was checking on her at the bar. She silently prayed that he hadn't overheard anything else. 

“I'm sorry. Do you prefer Queen?” Lucifer asked, a sneaky smile on his lips. She hid her reddening face, mortified that she wasn't quite immune to his advances. 

“Oh God, now, you're flirting. I've opened Pandora's box, and it won't close back up,” Natalie said, positioning herself so she was sitting on his lap, better not to look at him. He took the opportunity to snake his hand around waist. It was her turn to flinch. This was already backfiring horribly. 

“I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention my Father and flirting in the same sentence,” Lucifer whispered into her hear. She shivered, head swimming from the sudden intimacy.   

“Fine, but this is what's going to happen. You're going to eat those chocolates. Then, you'll thank me and forgive me for yesterday's little incident,” Natalie said, feigning confidence as her heart raced, attempting to keep pace with the devil's seductive song. 

“Then what?” Lucifer asked, resting his chin on her forehead. 

“We forget it ever happened, and everything can go back to normal,” Natalie said.

Without warning, he violently pushed her off him as if she were diseased. She landed on the ground with an unceremonious thud. Bad Move. There was no going back now. 

“Sorry princess, I'm not interested in playing butler anymore,” Lucifer said, retrieving his book so he could go back to willfully ignoring her. 

“You heard that huh?” Natalie said, slowly getting up. 

Her stupid trendy shoes buckled under her weight and she lost her balance. She braced herself for a bad landing that would probably twist her ankle, but of course, he caught her easily, holding onto to her until she regained her footing. Freaking angel, why wouldn't I want to keep you?  
   
“I was around, yeah,” Lucifer said, slightly guilty that he'd spied on her but ultimately far more irritated she thought so little of him.   

“To be fair, I think of you more as a cat,” Natalie said, crawling back onto his lap. He didn't stop her. 

“Girl, that's worse,” Lucifer said, scowling at her as he leaned back on the recliner. 

“Then, what do you want?” Natalie asked, making quick work of the straps on her shoes and tossing them aside. Natalie felt his body tense up again as she snuggled closer to him. He struggled in vain to keep his emotions in check, on the verge of forgiving her without her having to do much of anything.

“Depends, what do you want?” Lucifer asked finally, searching her expression for the answer he wanted. 

“I want things to say the same,” Natalie murmured. 

He was her angel. Why wasn't that enough anymore?   

“Not happening,” Lucifer said, sitting up, about to kick her off the chair when she acted in a panic, roughly kissing him in an attempt to placate him and keep him with her. This time, she was left wanting as Lucifer jaw clenched shut and refused to open. He could tell she wasn't being sincere. 

“I don't want you to leave,” Natalie said, holding back a sob as the tears began to pool together and blur her vision. What else could she do? Why wasn't she enough?

“Please,” Natalie pleaded, kissing his jaw again. He growled involuntarily before shoving her off him.   

“You're not going to manipulate me into following your every stupid whim. I'm done,” Lucifer said, absolutely livid she would pull such a dirty trick. 

Lucifer started to walk away, but she desperately grabbed hold of his leg and clung to him, slowing him down significantly as he dragged her dead weight across the carpet.

“Really kid,” Lucifer muttered, coming to a stop after a few feet of dragging her along.   

Yeah, this wasn't her finest moment, but she needed him to know she was sincere about one thing.   

“Look, I know it's selfish and stupid, but I want you to stay. I'm sorry if that's not enough-” Natalie said, surprised when he picked her up off the floor. 

“What if I stayed and did nothing for you?” Lucifer said, scrutinizing her every muscle movement for any sign she was lying.

“I don't care. I can take care of myself,” Natalie said, puffing her cheeks. He chuckled, setting her down. 

“What if I actively made your life worse?” Lucifer said, eyes flashing as he tried to intimidate her. She laughed, aware that he'd never harm her intentionally. 

“Oh please, it only took you a year to fall for me. You'd only be hurting yourself,” Natalie said. 

Lucifer didn't deny her words this time. There was a momentary silence. She dreaded what he'd say next. 

“Do you love me?” Lucifer asked suddenly. 

Damn. She wasn't prepared for this. 

“No, love is a stupid overrated word,” Natalie barked. 

The devil was undeterred, rephrasing the question.  

“Then, how do you really feel about me?” Lucifer asked. 

Natalie chewed the inside of her cheek, mulling it over. He wanted a reason to stay. That much was obvious. She'd given this particular question a lot of thought the few times she'd allowed herself to think about her relationship with the devil. 

“I treasure you. You're my marshmallow. I can't imagine my life without you,” Natalie said finally.

Somehow, this still wasn't enough. His face soured, and she wasn't sure what she'd messed up this time.

“Oh Father, you really do think of me as a lazy house cat,” Lucifer grumbled. 

“No, you're my guardian angel. We've established that,” Natalie said patiently. 

“Don't try to butter me up. I'm still mad,” Lucifer said. It was cute he thought she was lying. 

“ But you really are my guardian angel, I wouldn't have made it this far without you.” Natalie said, looking up at him in appreciation as she pressed her hand against his chest, right where his heart should be. She could practically feel his heart rattling in its cage, starved for attention. 

“You're just saying that because you're afraid of being alone,” Lucifer said, looking away. 

Natalie leaned against him. Instinctively, he secured her waist, afraid she would fall. She closed her eyes and embraced him, breathing in his comforting scent: mint and cinnamon mixed with a tiny bit of honey.

God, why couldn't things stay the same? 

“Seriously dude, I'm grateful for everything you've done for me, but you don't have to do it anymore. You're off the hook. You can go,” Natalie said, giving him one final squeeze before stepping back.

It was time. Their destiny was done. She couldn't give him what he wanted.  

“Wait, you're okay with me leaving?” Lucifer asked, subconsciously bridging the distance between them. Hmm . . .

Natalie placed a hand on his cheek experimentally, and he actually leaned in closer. It was maddening how much power she had over him. Maybe, she could keep him on the hook, just a little longer. What was a few decades to the devil after all? 

“If you want . . . or you can stay and watch me fail, your choice, ” Natalie said, rubbing her thumb against his cheek. Lucifer grabbed hold of her hand, and for a second, Natalie thought she'd made another mistake until his lips grazed her knuckles.  
   
“I'd like that,” Lucifer said, letting go of her hand.  

“Great, I'll cook breakfast tomorrow,” Natalie said, slightly dazed after that little stunt. 

“Or you can order a pizza and not kill us,” Lucifer said, snarkier than usual.

“Sweet, I can die at age fifty five of cardiac arrest because all I'm ever eating from now on is sweet sweet take out, if only I had someone to talk me out of making such terrible decisions,” Natalie said, stroking her chin in an exaggerated fashion, clearly bluffing. 

And yet, Lucifer's instinctive need to keep her alive won as he scowled and started making his weekly grocery list. Things weren't quite back to normal, but they were getting there. 

“You're getting eggs and orange juice in the morning, and you're going to like it, princess,” Lucifer said, extra surly after she'd manipulated him so easily. 

“That's Queen Natalie to you, peasant,” Natalie said, not expecting Lucifer to shut her up with a kiss. She didn't hate it. In fact, her final thought as they headed to the bedroom was a simple one.

God, why were all her friends so hot?


End file.
